Year of Release: 2007
Genre: Crime / Horror
IMDB Rating: 3.6 / 10
Level of Awful: High
Breast-O-Meter: 4 / 5
WHAT IT’S ABOUT:
The combination of a title like Kinky Killers and this movie’s DVD cover lulled me into a false sense of security so far as the levels of promised b-grade fun were concerned. It suffers from numerous problems in its execution, not least of which is the fact that the killer is neither the primary focus of the film, nor does he do anything particularly kinky. Other issues include the director’s ‘all over the place’ approach to making the movie, entire scenes where nothing makes sense and entirely different scenes that add nothing to the plot. This is not one of those movies that I would recommend to the truly hardened b-movie fan only; I wouldn’t recommend this movie to anyone. It’s not fun at all, just 85 minutes of non-stop randomness and the occasional display of oddly shaped breasts.
How to even try and explain this movie… Well, the general idea is that a number of blonde victims are turning up around the city with various body parts missing. Along with the affirmatively borrowed body parts each victim also has a mysterious tattoo inked into their skin. Two policemen are assigned to the case, but owing to their general approach of screaming at witnesses and breaking down random doors they don’t really get anything useful out of the people they interview. Throw in several psychologists, a few strippers, many useless bible quotes and the use of big words where it’s painfully clear that nobody understands what the hell they’re saying and you’ve basically got the premise of this movie. I wish I could say more about it, but the plot is just too hopelessly convoluted to do anything useful with it.
Even just recalling it fills me with a mild rage…
LIFE’S LESSONS LEARNED:
- Wives don’t usually want to hear about the gruesomely dismembered bodies their husbands recently saw.
- Part of police protocol dictates that everyone on the force be given enough hookers to have sex with.
- Females lawyers often double up as strippers.
- Police brutality gets cases solved.
- Police are fully within their right to break down a door and handcuff you when they need to ask a few questions.
- Suspects in murder trials have to promise the police that they won’t kill anymore bitches.
- Jesus was crucified in Sodom in Egypt.
- When divorce just won’t do, you need your marriage to be extremely terminated.
- Solving a mystery is easier if you do it while having sex.
- Psychologists can steal a person’s multiple personalities and give them to someone else.
KINKY KILLERS TRAILER
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