Year of Release: 2008
Genre: Horror / Thriller
IMDB Rating: 4.8 / 10
Level of Awful: Low
WHAT IT’S ABOUT:
Welcome to Plague Town, adult population +- 20, bat-shit crazy children 1000+. Rather than being on my usual mission to watch awful movies I decided to give this one a viewing because I felt like a little break from the normal absurdity and I’d heard some good things about the movie. For the most part those things were right, and this is by no means a bad movie. Why I’ve ranked it as ‘Low’ in terms of its Level of Awful is that there’s just that little something that’s missing from it, something I put down to the characters (or, rather, the actors portraying the characters). The problem isn’t that the acting is bad or that the characters don’t interact properly with one another, but rather that there just isn’t any power behind them and for that reason you don’t really connect with them or end up caring what happens to them. That said everything else in this movie is very decent: the kids are genuinely creepy, the kills are creative at times and the atmosphere in general is quite suspenseful. In the end it’s a very watchable but ultimately forgettable movie.
Meet the Monohans, an American family who’ve come to Ireland to discover their ancestral roots. The family is made up of Jerry, the dad with a bad back, Annette, Jerry’s soon to be newer model wife, Jessica, Jerry’s blonde and bitchy eldest daughter, Molly, Jerry’s younger mentally disturbed daughter, and Robin, Jessica’s English boyfriend of 3 days. The purpose of this little holiday was for the girls to get to know Annette better before the wedding day, although neither girl seems to share their father’s interest in making this little family unit function properly. As they wander the beautifully scenic Irish countryside they meet up with an old man digging a grave, who takes an instant shining to Molly. Not interested in the advances of an 80-year-old the family decides to find their own way back to the road where, along the way, fights are had, tantrums are thrown and people walk off into the dewy afternoon in a bitter attempt to show that this holiday is by no means fun. This becomes a problem when everyone spends so much time looking for Jessica that they miss the last bus back to town, and things start to become very creepy when the sun goes down.
Something is very wrong with the children in this seemingly idyllic Irish hamlet and 14 years ago the whole town went to hell. For a while it seems the town had been suffering a series of abnormal births leading the women of the town to produce horrifically deformed children. Convinced that this is the work of the Devil the local vicar has taken to shooting the children as soon as they are born in an attempt to keep Satan at bay. It all goes wrong one night when a new father decides that enough is enough and that the children can no longer be blamed and he kills the vicar and from there it seems that the town’s women continued to give birth to their little precious monstrosities. Back in the present and all grown up the children have been raised on an odd mixture of Catholicism and being allowed to kill any out of towners they come across, something that they do very well with a delightfully creepy giggle.
Unaware of the oddities surrounding them in the woods our family decides to take shelter in an abandoned car that they find on the outskirts of town. Several more hissy fits are thrown and one by one people leave to go and find a telephone, leaving Molly and Annette in the car. Unfortunately the children aren’t the only thing that the group needs to be careful of since the older and unmutated generation of people in this town have plans of their own: wanting to keep their families safe but also wanting to rid the town of the birth defects they capture anyone they find from the outside, referring to them as ‘clean seeds’. Effectively what they have going on is a breeding program that aims to rid the town of its problems by introducing clean, fresh blood into the mixture. Understandably not everyone is keen on this idea and must be taken by force when they become unwilling sexual partners. The ultimate in creepiness here is Rosemary, a good girl with taped on eyes and a propensity to hang people from trees by their noses. As the children are summoned to the attack Molly must find a way to save her family and try and get them out of this little hamlet of hell before it’s too late.
We saw it in Wicked Little Things and we’ve seen it here as well: children are evil and best avoided 🙂
LIFE’S LESSONS LEARNED:
- You can’t tell someone that they’re interesting after knowing them for only 3 days.
- It’s never too cold to have sex outside.
- Sisters get jealous when one is allowed to spontaneously hallucinate while the other isn’t.
- Just because a man shoots your boyfriend in the face with a shotgun it doesn’t mean that he wants to hurt you.
- You should try and sleep when creepy babies are crying in the woods.
- Mutant children are very shy. That’s why they kill and eat people.
- Some people are of the opinion that a cup of tea is the perfect cure for being shot in the face.
PLAGUE TOWN TRAILER