Blood Sisters

Year of Release: 1987
Genre: Horror / Thriller
IMDB Rating: 2.7 / 10
Level of Awful: High

WHAT IT’S ABOUT:

To kick off my blast from the past 1987-themed movie month I felt that I should go all out and watch something that was both cheesy and filled with 80s ideas of promiscuity, prostitution and poltergeists. Thankfully everything I wanted was to be found in Blood Sisters, a delightful tale of a sorority initiation gone wrong bundled up in a wrapping of bad hair, chunky accessories and outfits that will make your eyes bleed. It’s one of those typical movies that couldn’t quite decide on whether it wanted to be a paranormal thriller or a slasher movie so it just throws both things together and explains neither.

The Ku Klux Klan's Women's Guild holds its weekly baking circle.

Deep in the forest, far away from the highway or the distractions of modern life, there exists a place where you can just get away from it all and forget all your worries: the local whore house. Here dozens of women wearing horrible undergarments and covered in so much makeup it would take a demolition crew to take it off are ready and willing to serve your every need, so long as the price is right. There are women for every man’s taste, so long as he doesn’t like them attractive. Business is thriving and the hookers are having a blast in their little hideaway, but somebody isn’t nearly as pleased with the fine work they do for their community. One day, in broad daylight, somebody sneaks into the house armed with a shotgun ready to put an end to this house of giggling delights. With the hookers dead and the local sex economy in a slump, the events of that day gradually begin to make their way into the local annals of urban legend and, it is said, that should you go into the old hooker house deep in the woods the spirits of the women still wander its halls in their trashiest finery, looking for young virgins to take as otherworldly lovers.

Even the mannequin wasn't prepared to put up with 80s fashion anymore...

When a whore house standing alone in the middle of the woods was once the scene of tragic events, both during its occupants lives and their untimely deaths, the place is virtually begging to host a sorority initiation. The local sorority made up of Greek letters thrown together at random has just finished shortlisting its very long list of pledges and is now ready to allow a new group of girls into its hallowed, bitchy halls. To prove that they will support one another as sisters and to prove that they are stable and mature individuals they must spend the night in the old abandoned whore house which the head sorority sister will have booby-trapped to try to scare them half to death and run out of the house like a banshee into the night. Test of maturity? Yeah, about that. So after a night of what looks like a primitive form of clubbing that takes up a good ten minutes of the movie the girls are blindfolded, put in a van and driven into the woods. From here they need to unpack, get comfortable, hear the story of what happened in the house and then go on a scavenger hunt to prove their allegiance to their would-be sorority house.

Mirrors are known to broadcast lesbian memories from the Other Side.

So now the house has been rigged up by a team of drunken jocks with a variety of things to scare the girls during their scavenger hunt: tapes of women screaming, babies crying, fake axes, a fake gun and so on and so forth. For a while everything is going fine as the girls go about finding random items on their lists. But then things start to get strange and the girls start seeing things, ghostly things. Strange women are wandering the halls while mysterious and sexy memories begin to play in the house’s mirrors. When it becomes apparent to the girls that the sounds that they’ve been hearing are just coming from things planted in the house to scare them they become more relaxed, but it certainly doesn’t explain the things that they’re seeing around them. When they start to be picked off one by one and cry out for help nobody comes looking for them, thinking that it’s simply another trap that’s been set off to scare them. The question to be asked, however, is what exactly is in the house with them? Are they really becoming the victims of hookers from beyond the grave or is something more sinister, more alive, stalking this old house with them?

LIFE’S LESSONS LEARNED:

  • It’s hard to distinguish between a cult meeting and sorority sisters just getting together.
  • Health food not only helps you to lose weight but it will also reverse the effects of degenerative eye disease.
  • Women find the memories of ghosts having sex with their favourite client highly arousing.
  • Ghostly memories are always accompanied by circus music.
  • The presence of ghosts is always accompanied by the sound of bell chimes ringing backwards.
  • Sarcasm and fear have no place in a haunted whore house.
  • Prostitutes who don’t give good head risk having the police shut their brothel down.

BLOOD SISTERS TRAILER

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Posted on July 1, 2011, in Awful Level: High and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Your level of awful needs some thing above high. This one looks horrible. I barely made it through the trailer. That voice over doesn’t help. Neat idea, haunting whores. Doesn’t look like it works here.

    • After ‘High’ comes ‘Requires Post Film Lobotomy’, but that’s a very serious Level of Awful. When you’ve seen a movie that falls into that category it haunts you for days. And of course, had the haunting whores storyline worked, it wouldn’t have made it’s way onto my blog 🙂

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